Smile
by redboomkat
Summary: Brooke centered story. CHAPTER SEVEN IS UP!
1. Smile

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is "Smile" by Lilly Allen.

**This is right after the prom. Just mainly all about Brooke. In her POV I will go on if I get reviews!! Let me know!!**

I was the confident one. The girl that the guys wanted and girls longed to be. But things they had changed. I lost the love of my life, my best friend and another guy in just a matter of months. Things couldn't get worse right? They could but I knew I just had to get through them. I loved the boy but he left me for a girl, MY best friend but when I walk in school the Monday after Prom things seemed better. For me atleast.

_When you first left me I was wanting more  
But you were doing that girl next door, what ja do that for  
When you first left me I didn't know what to say  
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day_

I walked into school with people looking at me. I knew what they were thinking. They had been at the party days ago, everyone had. I do her best to shrug it off, I really had no choice but to. I almost got to my locker when I wonderful scene had caught my eye. Looking closer she saw my ex-bestfriend, Peyton, slaming her locker door while my ex-boyfriend, Lucas, stood watching her. Peyton turned to say "It's over." She then left an obviously distroyed Lucas behind. Before he could look up I took out my cell phone and got his picture like that.

_  
I was so lost back then  
But with a little help from my friends  
I found a light in the tunnel at the end  
Now you're calling me up on the phone  
So you can have a little whine and a moan  
And it's only because you're feeling alone_

I knew someone who'd wanted to see this. I texed Rachel. **You so have to look at this pic.** Then sent it too her. I went to my locker to retrieve my Calculus book then shut it. I looked up to see Lucas. He had now slumped into the floor and held his head in his hands. He must be crying. I felt sorta bad.

_At first when I see you cry,  
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile  
At worst I feel bad for a while,  
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile_

I shoved away the pitty inside of me and thought about how I felt when we broke up. A smile slowly appeared on my face. I had to pass by him and knew it wouldn't pass. I walked past him and looked down at him. He looked up at him and I still had the smile across my face. He looked at me with those sad Broody eyes. But I didn't care. He felt like I did. Finally

_Whenever you see me you say that you want me back  
And I tell you it don't mean jack, no it don't mean jack  
I couldn't stop laughing, no I just could help myself  
See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell_

Later on after classes I sat outside against my car. I was waiting for Rachel. It suddenly hit me. She wasn't coming out of that school. She was gone. I miss her. I throw my bag in the passenger seat and turn to look back at the school. I can see Lucas coming my way. I didn't know though if it was my way. Now I felt a bit bad.

"Luke.." I say looking at the dishelveled man standing now in front of me. "I'm sorry." I say quickly. I do feel sorry even though I'm happy that he feels like I did. He doesn't say anything. He pulls me close and hugs me. I hug him back and look over his shoulder to see Peyton. She looks at me and stops. I mouth 'I'm sorry' to her. She nods and smiles slightly. I smile back. She goes to her car and I pull away from Lucas.

_I was so lost back then  
But with a little help from my friends  
I found a light in the tunnel at the end  
Now you're calling me up on the phone  
So you can have a little whine and a moan  
And it's only because you're feeling alone_

Lucas looks at me with these sad Broody eyes again. He asks to go for coffee. I say, "No." I don't know if his intentions are friendly or otherwise and I couldn't risk it. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. "You'll be fine. I am."

_At first when I see you cry,  
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile  
At worst I feel bad for a while,  
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile_

I get into my car and smile at him. He really makes me feel good to see him cry. It probaly shouldn't but it really does. It really does. I wave and drive off. I pull up right next to Peyton's car. I smile and wave. She does the same. Things are changing.

_At first when I see you cry,  
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile  
At worst I feel bad for a while,  
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile_

**Please review!! I really want to know if this is oneshot. I can go forth if I get good reviews.**


	2. Littlest Things

**Thank you all for the reviews!!**

**ForcedSmile: Writing this in first person is going to be the hardest!! Tips are always welcomed!**

**Brucas2006: I liked Brucas once. Long ago. If I can make Lucas better LOL he'll deserve her. I love Brooke/Rachel BFF so much more than any couple!**

**B.P.Davis: Thanks! **

**FadeForever: I'm not a Layton fan so IF they were to get back together then it wouldn't be a big thing here. just FYI**

**justlikebrooke: I'd have to remake Lucas and repair Brooke and Peyton. I don't get how anyone would let some guy come between them. I'd rather have a BFF than a guy. Maybe that's why I'm single LOL LOL LOL**

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I get to the house. The empty house. As I open the door I hope Rachel would come rushing down the stairs but when I look up the stairs are empty. I shut and lock the door behind me and slowly walk up the stairs. I sit down on my bed and let out a sigh that I felt like I was holding for a week. So much had come down around me the past few weeks that I wasn't sure how I was still breathing. I lay back on my bed staring at the ceiling. I miss her. I hated her once. She threated to take eveything I thought I loved. In the end, the end, she showed me what was truly important. Friendship. She's my best friend. I want Rachel back so much. She could make me laugh now when I had nothing to be happy about. I sit back up and decide to go for a run. I change into my jogging clothes. A run could do me good right? It releases stuff right? I walk downstairs with my cell in one hand and my iPod and strap in the other. I latch the iPod to my arm and turn it on. I can't help but smile. Peyton had hijacked it one day and put all of her music on it. I never could fix it. She knew that. I take a deep breath and open the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. I can't deal with them. I can't. Can I?

"I'm sorry Brooke." Peyton says to me. It's simple but I can tell she is.

"Me too," I tell her. "I hate this. We can use your car for the bodies...I'll dig the hole," I smile slightly.

"I can see the headlines. Scott boys fanished, no leads, no cares." Peyton smiles big.

"I was just going for a run but..." I start to tell her.

"No...go," Peyton insists, "I just wanted to tell you I am sorry. Lucas was wrong to leave you. I thought I loved him, he thought he loved me, we were wrong. And I know Nathan meant nothing to you."

I leaned over and hugged her tightly, "I hated not being able to bitch at you about anything."

Peyton hugs me back and it just feels right. We've been best friends for so long we shouldn't have let this happen.

I pull back, "I'll stop by later...help you burn some stuff," I wink.

Peyton laughs, "Yeah...bye Brooke." She turns to walk away.

"Bye P.Sawyer...my best friend.." I say

Peyton turns around smiling. She waves and walks toward her house.

I lean against the now closed door. Is this too good to be true? With the history of our little incestuous group Lucas will try to come back to me but what will I do? Do I still love him? It was just a few days ago that I was falling for..."Chase?"

As I look up Chase is walking up my sidewalk with his hands in his pocket. He looks hurt, confused, sad. I don't like him like that.

"Haven't you had enough?" I ask walking to him.

"Apparently not," Chase replies not taking his hands from his pocket.

"You weren't at school," I say trying to act like his presence doesn't bother me, when obviously it does, "Or you did good at avoiding me."

"I stayed home," Chase says simply, "I couldn't sleep all weekend. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Chase don't," I say walking past him, "I lost everything and everyone in just a couple of days. I'm not rehashing it all." I put my earbuds on and start jogging. I didn't turn to look to see if he ran after me. No one ever did before why would they start now.

**I know it was short but that just seemed like a good ending place. R&R**


	3. Everything's Just Wonderful

**Thanks for the reviews. The PB reunion was a bit fast but nothing in Tree Hill is ever that simple.**

I jog slowly at first and then I start to quicken my pace. I feel like I'm running from someone or something. I really don't know anymore. Nothing seems real, to even me. I stop in front of Karyn's. I want to go and I reach for the door but quickly retract my arm. Lucas is sitting with his back turned to the door at the bar. Part of me wants to walk in and saw "Nana Nana BooBoo!! You loose!" But that's the old me talking. First when I saw him getting dumped it made me smile but now I feel bad. Will that last? Will he stay away from Peyton? Will he stay away from me now that Peyton doesn't want him? I don't want him, right? I wanted him. I wanted Chase. And apparently at some point I wanted Nathan. I feel my knees buckle from under me and collapse sitting against the window outside. What did I want? Who did I want? Did I really need a guy to define me? I had acomplished so much alone sort of. I worked hard to get to where I am. I have my clothes, cheerleading and Student Body President. Two of which will be over in a matter of weeks. Can I really go on like this? Do I? I pull my legs up to me and feel tears start to fall and my face falls on my knees. I don't know what I want at all. The only thing I know is I don't want to be like my parents but other than that I am lost. I hear the bell of the door and just ignore it not thinking anything.

"Brooke?" I hear the familiar voice.

I look up. I can only imagine how I look, "Yeah?"

Lucas walks over and sits on the otherside of me. I really didn't walk to talk, "If you want to talk, just talk. If you don't, don't." He can always read me.

I nodded and then put my head down on my knees. I want to tell him how I was feeling about him but I decide against it. Peyton taking his heart, throwing it on the ground and doing the Mexican Hat Dance on it was probaly enough for him today. I couldn't help but to turn to him, "I know it hurts. If you want to talk."

Lucas smiles slightly, "Thanks. I just. I didn't expect it. Peyton said it was because of my feelings for you."

I turn my head back to my knees. I do not need this. "I don't want to hear this. I shouldn't have said I'd listen. I can't. Not now."

"I heard about Chase," Lucas says. Yeah, that really helps, "He's a jerk."

I snap my head up, "No he's not. He got screwed over by HIS best friend. HIS best friend slept with his girlfriend. Ring a bell? He couldn't stand that I did that to Peyton even though..." I groan. I won't rehash it.

"I don't know what to say to may things better with you and Peyton. I know it's my fault," Lucas tells me.

"It is but we will be fine," I explain, "Peyton is okay with the Nathan thing and I'm fine with her kicking you to the curb. WE are going to be okay. But you and I," I point between us, "I don't think I can be okay with you. I've never been in a place like you put me in and God help me Lucas I won't go back."

"I don't expect you to Brooke," Lucas tells me, "If I ever thought I had a chance with you I'd probaly be old and gray."

I jump up, "Probaly. I've got to go. I told Peyton I'd help her burn your shit." I wave and jog off to Peyton's. I get to her house and look around the outside. The last time I was there we were tearing each other up. I knock on the door then open it, "Peyt!" I call out.

"Upstairs!" Peyton yells at me.

I walk up the stairs. It feels better being here. Peyton and I wouldn't be the same and I know that but still. It does help since Rachel is gone. I walk into her room, "I saw her wonderful ex-boyfriend a couple of minutes ago." I say sitting on her bed.

"Eww...was he crying?" Peyton smiles.

"No but he did try to talk to me about it," I tell her, "I kinda said it was okay but then I didn't like it. I told him off about some other thigns. I actually thought it would help to call Chase a jerk."

"Yeah I'm sure you took that well." Peyton joins me on the bed.

I run my fingers through her curly blonde hair, "I miss him. Chase I mean. He came by right after you left. He wanted to talk. Something about thinking about me all weekend...blah blah blah."

"Why didn't you talk to him? Anyone can see you aren't over it." Peyton smiles slightly.

I shake my head, "I just don't want to disapoint him. Obviously I have skeletons in my closet even I don't know about." I sigh frustrated, "I actually thought I was falling in love with him."

Peyton pauses, "Is it like...when you were with Lucas?"

"Not at all. I mean I am afraid of disapointing Chase. But I do know he won't call me a slut. He sees me as me, not as a cheerleader, the popular girl, clean teen, no label at all. Just me," I explain to her, "It's so different. I was always afraid of getting a lecture from Lucas. With Chase I just don't want to let him down."

"Sounds like it's real love," Peyton tells me.

"That's what I was afraid of," I groan.

**Reviews please!! What should she do??**


	4. Friday Night

**Thanks for the reviews. I really want this to be more about Brooke. I don't like Lucas but I think she could end up with him.**

For the rest of my wonderful senior year I go to school and come home. Same thing everyday. Peyton comes to hang with me a little but mostly I just want to be alone. When we are all together, for probaly the last time, I throw my hat in the air and smile. High school is over. Maybe everything else will change. Doubtfully but I hope. Lucas looks at me. I look at Peyton. Nathan and Haley are in their own world. I look out. My parents didn't show. I didn't expect them to. Actually that's a lie. I really hoped they would. I thought graduation was important but apparantly not to them. When I look out though, I smile. My parents aren't there but Rachel is. She came back. For me? I couldn't help but run off the stage. I duck and dodge through the sea of parents and reach her.

"Hey slut what are you doing here?" I smile hugging her tightly.

"I had to see my best friend graduate," Rachel beams at me, "I couldn't miss it. Especially since we are going to throw a party of the year."

"How's that?" I ask her. I hadn't planned anything.

"I bought a few kegs. They should be dropped off at the house as we speak," Rachel grins, "By the way that picture you sent me is my cell wallpaper. Lucas looks like he lost his puppy. I love it!"

I couldn't help but look up at the stage. Lucas is taking pictures with his mom and strangly Dan too. He tries to smile but I can tell something is really wrong. I can always tell when he's not himself. I look back to Rachel, "Don't be so hard on him."

"Don't tell me you took him back!" Rachel is a bit upset at the idea.

I chuckle, "God no. I'm just saying things aren't always what they seem." I shrug, "So about this party..."

Chase interupts. He pulls me into a hug and whispers, "I don't care who you were. I care who you are." He pulls back and smiles.

"Party. Our place. Tonight." Rachel tells him.

Chase nodds and walks away.

"Why did you do that?" I ask her.

Rachel looks at me, "Uh because you know you want him there. You were like all Jennifer Aniston when you broke up don't let him find an Angelina."

I roll my eyes, "I need to change before everyone gets there. Come on."

We go back to OUR house. I've got just a few weeks left there and it seems like it's coming on way to fast. I know I'll do my thing this summer but after getting accepted at NYU and Berkley it was hard to make a decision.

"People are here!" Rachel yells up, "Not important ones but people!"

I laugh, she'll never change and I am so glad of that. She has been the best thing about my senior year. She's taught me so much. I should tell her about my decision. Maybe she'll come with me. I go downstairs dressed in a strapless black dress and matching heels. My hair is pulled back in a simple sleek pony tail. I look around the livingroom. I don't know how I am looking for but when I lock eyes with him I know.

"Can we talk?" He asks me.

I nod and lead him outside. I don't know what I want to say. I feel things that are still lingering between us but I don't want to be hurt again and I know he doesn't want that either. I sit down in a chair in the corner of the porch.

Lucas leans up against the bright white railing, "I know you hate me and you should. I got one chance to actually have a conversation with you and I blew it. Chase isn't the jerk. It's me. I strung you along then Peyton. I know you two are getting close and I wouldn't ask for anything. I'm leaving for early admission to Berkley tomorrow."

I smile to myself. Of course he'd finally listen to me.

"I just wanted to tell you I love you." Lucas kneels down in front of me, "I made so many mistakes with you. You should never want me again. Like I said, I'm sure I'll be old and gray before you do."

I look at him and feel the tears well up in my eyes, "Goodbye Lucas." I couldn't say anything else. I was so afraid to say anything else.

Lucas gets up, then he leans down and kisses my cheek, "Goodbye Pretty Girl." He smiles and walks down the steps.

I watch him until I can't see him anymore and then I let the tears fall as they may. I love him. I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell him anything. I am so confused over how I feel. I won't get hurt again. I just won't. I can't act on my feelings. Peyton would hate me on so many levels. I won't let Lucas come between us once more.

"Brooke?" Peyton walks out of the house. She turns and looks at me. She rushes over and kneels in the same spot Lucas was in moments before. "What happened?"

"Lucas is leaving," I say, "I'm so sorry Peyton. I tried not to feel anything. I really tried. He's going to California and I'm sad. He told me he loved me and I said nothing."

Peyton nods as if she's taking it all in, "He loves you Brooke. He always has. No matter what his mouth said, his heart spoke volumes. Go find him."

I look at her like she's grown a second head. "You can't be serious. You guys just broke up a few weeks ago."

"I fooled myself when we were together. I really thought if I told myself enough that he'd forget how much he loves you. I was wrong." Peyton smiles slightly, "If you don't go after him, I'm not your best friend anymore."

I smile big as possible. I hug her so tightly, "You are the best a person could have. I love you P.Sawyer."

"I love you B.Davis." Peyton hugs be back then stands up, "Now go."

I do as I am told and start walking toward Lucas'. I'm still in heels I might add. It seems like the walk is forever. I walk to his door and swing it open. Nothing. I look around. I notice the empty drawers hanging out. I go into the livingroom. No one is home. I see a pad with something on it. _Flight 1324 12:30am._ They are on thier way to take him. Now.

I go back to the house and grab my cell and Rachel's keys. I start calling Lucas but nothing. I keep calling as I get to the airport. I go up to the board to look for his flight. _Flight 1324 Depart to San Francisco Departed._ I felt my heart sank. I turn to walk away looking down at the ground. I feel so defeated. I don't pay attention where I am walking and run right into someone.

"I'm so sorry," I applogize.

"No I think I am," Karyn says looking at me, "You don't look so good."

I shake my head, "I can't belive he's gone."

Karyn pulls me into a hug. I hear someone walk up. I assume it's Dan, "Brooke he's not gone forever."

I pull back and look at Karyn. I've always looked up to her. "I didn't say it. I didn't say it back. What if he doesn't know?"

"He knows," Karyn smiled, "We'll walk you to your car."


	5. Shame For You

**Thanks for the reviews. This chapter has been battling with me. I hope it's good! Please review! I update faster if I get lots of reviews!**

_"Are you sure?" Peyton has been asking me this all day long, "Lucas is in California."_

_"I can't turn this down Peyton," I have been telling her this all day and this time again she doesn't listen. "Vogue wants me. Me of all the applicants. I can't say no."_

_Peyton hugs me. I wave at her as I take my carry on with me to the plane. I hand the woman my ticket. She scans it and hands it back. I turn and wave once more before boarding the plane to New York._

_I sit on the plane praying I wasn't making a mistake. I had to follow my dream._

After two years in New York I had exploded. Instead of getting pins, tape and such for a big fashion designer that was working with Vogue I was having my own shoots. I finished late tonight and didnt' feel like doing anything. I walk into my apartment and kick off my heels. I press play on the answering machine and go to the fridge.

_Beep "Brooke," Peyton says obviously shakily, "He's here. He's in Tree Hill. He's back for the summer. Come home. I miss you. I know he misses you."_

_Beep "Brookie," Haley says sounding like Peyton, "Come home. You have to come get him. Please."_

I delete both messages. I sit on the couch in the apartment I had all alone. It was nice. Hugh glass windows. I could see so much of the city. Could I leave this? Could I risk not coming back to this? I call my assistant.

"Jackie," I say as I go to my bedroom and grab a suitcase, "I'm going to Tree Hill for the weekend."

"Where is that?" Jackie sighed in my ear. I hated that.

"North Carolina. I grew up there." I groan in her ear. "I will be back by Tuesday but postpone everything next week. I want to work on some new stuff when I get back. If you need me call me." I hung up. I hate listening to her whine.

I grab my bags and call the airline as I'm hailing a cab. Lucky for me there is one leaving in a couple of hours. I hadn't gotten on a plane to come home since then. I hadn't gone back and I'm scared to go now.

I board the plane after they call for my flight. I sit in first class sipping on a coke as I ponder if I really should go home.

_The glamorous  
The glamorous, glamorous (the glamorous life)  
By the glamorous, oh The flossy flossy_

Wear them gold and diamonds rings  
All them things don't mean a thing Chaperones and limousines  
Shopping for expensive things I be on the movie screens  
Magazines and bougie scenes  
I'm not clean, I'm not pristine  
I'm no queen, I'm no machine 

I get off the plane and a cab takes me into town. I check into a motel and then decide to walk the streets. I find myself at Karyn's Cafe. I look inside and see Karyn sitting with a boy that must be two, and Dan. They all look so happy. I walk inside, "Who do you have to know to get some food in here?"

Karyn jumps, "Brooke Davis!" She runs to me and pulls me into a tight hug, "We've missed you."

"I missed you too Karyn," I hug her tight. She smells like Lucas just slightly. I am sure he was here not too long ago. I pull away, "I'm just here for the weekend."

Karyn cocks her head all motherlike, "Brooke..."

I force a smile, "Like I said..food? I'm starved."

Karyn doesn't press. She goes behind the counter and gets me a nice big chef salad.

_I still go to taco bell drivethrough  
Raw as hell  
I don't care   
I'm still real no matter how many records I sell  
After the show or after the grammys  
I like to go cool out with the family   
Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a Mustang  
And now I'm in... _

_First class up in the sky  
Pop the champagne  
Living the life in the fast lane  
And I won't change  
By the glamorous, oh The flossy flossy_

I finish up my dinner and thank Karyn. I leave. I don't know where to go. I know I should find Peyton and tell her I'm here but I end up at the River Court. It looks the same. I sit down on the picnic table. So many memories here. I put my head in my hands feeling everything hit me at once.

"Oh no alert the media fashion mogul Brooke Davis is in little bitty Tree Hill North Carolina," I hear that all to familiar voice.

I look up, "Lucas that's not funny."

"Actually it is," Lucas says walking to me, "Not funny is not calling for two years."

"You went to Berkley," I says simply.

"I thought you might come," Lucas sits down next to me.

"Vogue called," I tell him unable to look at me.

"I heard," Lucas sighs. He lays back and tosses the ball up in the air and catching it.

"I leave Monday." I say not particularly to him.

Lucas sits up, "So it's like that? Why did you come? Why now?"

"Peyton called me," I tell him.

"From what she said, she's been trying to get you here for months." Lucas tells me, "Did you.."

"Don't flatter yourself Scott," I get up of the table, "I didn't come here for you." I lied. I walk to the court, "I don't need anything or anyone."

"Because you have it all." Lucas said, "Yeah I happened to catch you on Oprah. You sure played down Tree Hill the best you could."

I turn and look at him, "You think it was that simple?"

Lucas laughs walking to me, "You acted like you just was too big for Tree Hill. Brooke you've changed. I don't like you."

I scoff, "You don't know me! I have my dream. I went to New York little Brooke Davis from Tree Hill North Carolina. Now when I get on a plane I get treated well, I get limos, free gifts, tickets to movie premires. I have it all. I came here to visit my friends. Obviously, you weren't one of them." I turn to walk away.

"What happened to the girl that I told I loved her on graduation night?" Lucas yells out after me.

I turn around just as it started to rain, "She got a life." It turn and start running. No clue where I am going.

**The song is Glamorous by Fergie.**

**Sorry so short but I needed to fill this one to get her to TH and back to everyone.**


	6. LDN

**Thanks for the review!!**

I run and run as the rain starts pouring. Who does he think he is? Did he expect me to turn down such a great life because he said he loved me? He said that once. He said that twice, three times and more but yet he left me for my best friend. I couldn't be hurt again. He doesn't even know me. Not anymore.

_theres people talking  
they talk about me  
they know my name, they think they know everything  
but they dont know anything  
about me  
give me a dancefloor  
give me a __DJ__  
give me a record  
forget what they say  
cuz i need to go  
i need to getaway  
tonight  
i put my make up on a Saturday night  
i try to make it happen  
try to make it alright  
i know i make mistakes im living life  
day to day  
its never really easy but its OK_

I stop taking a breath. Again I run from him. I didn't run to New York. Okay maybe a little but I couldn't say no. I couldn't. I'm living my dream. I slowly walk and end up at Peyton's door. I knock praying she'll be there. No answer. I sigh and begin to walk into town.

"Well if it isn't Miss Too Good For Tree Hill," I can hear the anamosity under his breath. Nathan chuckles.

I turn and look at him, "I've had enough of the Scott brothers for one day."

"Aww did Lucas tell you how much he hates you," Nathan chuckles lightly.

"I see the jackass has come back," I start walking away from him but hear his footsteps follow me.

"You really screwed him up," Nathan says softly.

I turn and look at him, "I screwed HIM up?" I scoff, "He broke up with me for my best friend then just decides he wants me back. Things just aren't that simple."

"They should be," Nathan sighs.

"It hurts to look at him. It hurts to hear him, to smell him. To have him tell me I'm not the girl he loved anymore," I feel the tears fall down my face.

_wake up wake up  
on a Saturday night  
could be New York maybe  
Hollywood and Vine  
London, Paris, maybe Tokyo  
theres something goin on  
anywhere i go tonight  
tonight, yeah tonight_

"I really hope you aren't the girl we see in the magazines," Nathan tells me. "If you are. He'll never love you." He walks away.

I sit down on the curb. The town is dead. Nothing like New York. If I was there I'd be out. Out dancing in the clubs.

_the citys restless  
its all around me  
people in motion  
sick of all the same routines  
and theyneed to go  
they need to getaway tonight  
i put my make up on a Saturday night  
i try to make it happen  
try to make it alright  
i know i make mistakes  
im living life  
day to day  
its never really easy but its OK_

"I would have thought you'd run back to New York." Can he not just leave me alone.

I look up and see Lucas, "I'm that that girl. I didn't run away. I'm not going back to the little small town girl Lucas. It's not me anymore."

_people all around u everywhere that u go  
people all around u  
they dont really know u  
everybodys watchin like its some kind of show  
everybodys watchin they dont really know u now  
and forever.._

"I don't expect you to," He sits down next to me.

"You were just so pissed off that I got a life." I sigh.

"I guess I'm just upset that you got a life without me," He tells me. "On graduation night I told someone I loved them. I meant it and I still do. I know people change. I know it's been two years."

"I can't be that girl Lucas," I stand up, "I leave in a couple of days and go back to my life of champange, limos, clubs and you go back to books, frat parties and classes. I don't want that life. I like mine." I start to walk away.

"I could go to New York!" Lucas shouts at me.

I turn and start walking backward looking at a now standing Lucas, "No you can't. We aren't those people. You'll be fine." I smile slightly then turn back and walk to my motel.


	7. Friend Of Mine

**Sorry that one was so short but I promise this one will be as long as possible.**

I go back to the motel and run into my room. I start throwing everything I own into my Chanel bags. I have to get out of here. I can't be near him. He wants me to go back and be the girl I was two years ago and I just can't do that. I've grown up so much and I love my life. I gave up my heart to Lucas long ago. He stomped on it and I refuse to let that happen. I'm almost packed and hear a knock. Who can that be?

I open up the door, "Peyt.." I groan, "I'm guessing Lucas sent you," I go back to my bags to finish packing.

"Actually Lucas AND Nathan called," Peyton sits on the bed by my bags, "You can't run away."

"I don't want to stay here," I tell her, "I have a new line coming out and I need to get back to work. Besides, Lucas wants small town Brooke Davis. Not fashion designer Brooke Davis."

Peyton sighs, "He'll love you, for who you are."

I cock my head and look at her, "I can't afford to wait around for him. He always told me to follow my dream if I got the chance. I did and I did but he's upset about that." I zip up my bag, "Why am I the bad guy when he's the one that jumped back and forth between us. I can't. I can't risk my life for something I'm not sure of."

Peyton nods, I can tell she understands. "I love you Brookie and I know you're scared. Lucas has finally figured out who he wants. He figured that out on grad night two years ago. He won't date, he won't see any girls. He's crazy about you."

I sit down next to her, "I hate him. I hate him for making me feel this way. You know he even said he'd come to New York?"

Peyton chuckles, "Not surprised. Why wouldn't you let him? You could have your cake and eat it too."

I shake my head, "If I'm not willing to give up something for him I can't ask him to give up school for me."

"You didn't ask him," Peyton points out, "He's really afraid. He would have come but he was just sure that he would throw you to the city faster."

"I like my life the way it is," I pull out Vogue and open it to my article, "That is me. Me Peyton. The Brooke Davis fashion designer. Show me in all that where there is room for a guy to break me. To break me again."

Peyton sighs. I can tell I've won, "You're right. He can't give up something if you won't give up something." She stands, "I'll drive you to the airport."

The short drive to the airport is silent. I know how disappointed she is with me. I'm scared. I admit that.

Peyton walks with me to security and we hug, "I'll be back sooner. I promise." I smile as we part.

"And I'll come visit. I'm sure you can show me New York the Brooke Davis way," Peyton smiles at me.

I hug her again, "I'm going to miss you." I hear my flight being called, "I've got to go." I kiss her cheek and run though security. Thank God that it didn't take long. I make it to my gate just in time. I settle into my seat in first class. I take out Vogue again and look at it. I look perfect. Too perfect. I close in, "My eyes aren't that color…they took out…" I notice small things that have been changed about me. Vogue changed me. Vogue changed ME. I jump up.

I run to the stewardess, "I need off this plane."

"I'm sorry m'am we've already taxied out. Please have a seat." She tells me.

I sit back in my seat dumbfounded. Vogue changed me. I didn't change myself. They changed me.

I lean my seat back and force my eyes closed.

_I step off the plane in New York and see something familiar. I get closer and closer and it's Lucas. He's there. For me?_

"_Peyton told me…I found a faster flight." Lucas smiles at me, "I want to give it up for you."_

_I hug him tightly, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I want to be the old Brooke. I want…you."_

I jolt awake with a slight smile. I look around making sure no one was watching me. I lean back into my seat again and wonder what I will do. I want to be the old Brooke Davis again but I want to design clothes.

First thing's first when I get off the plane I will talk to Vogue about this photo shoot they photo shopped.

I go back to sleep. I hate planes and the only thing that makes me at ease is just being asleep.

The stuardess wakes me up after we've landed. I walk off the plane and look around. Nothing. No one. I don't know why I had my hopes up. I shouldn't have even thought that. I go and get my luggage and find my car. I drive straight to Vogue and insist on seeing the Editor. They lead me up and I sit in her office and wait.

After about an hour of me yelling at her I finally leave with the promise that they will not be able to put my new line in. Harper's had been asking for months and they would now get the exclusive.

I go back home. There are fifteen messages. I hadn't been gone that long had I? I don't check them. I don't want to see if any are from Lucas. I sit against the window looking out at the city. I drift back to the moment on the plane. This place had changed me. Did I want to be changed? Did I want to be big city Brooke? Did I want to be small town Brooke? I don't know. I really don't know. I end up falling asleep against the window.

**Please review!! Sorry it took so long my computer was throwing a fit and I had this chapter mostly written!! I had to wait to get it off!!**

**Thanks everyone!**


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